Deep Water

• Treacherous: Unpredictably dangerous; unreliable or trustworthy.
• Subdued my pride: To reduce or limit the level of one’s self-esteem and confidence.
• Flailed at the surface: Strike or lash out violently at the water’s surface in an attempt to get out.
• Fishing for landlocked salmon: To go salmon fishing in a certain lake for a specific type of salmon.
• Misadventure: An accident that ends up being a disaster.
• Bob to the surface like a cork: To float or resemble a cork in water in terms of buoyancy.
• The curtain of life fell: To denote the end of life or a near-death experience.
• Back and forth across the pool: To swim from one side of a swimming pool to the other.

Douglas refers to the near-drowning episode at the Y.M.C.A. swimming pool as a “misadventure.” He was about ten or eleven years old and just learning to swim. A bigger boy, around eighteen years old, picked him up and tossed him into the deep end.


(The diagram above illustrates the treacherous slope from 2 feet to 9 feet where Douglas drowned.)

He fought desperately to reach the surface but failed multiple times, developing a deep phobia of water that haunted him for years.

Emotions: Initially, he was frightened but not out of his wits. As he sank, terror seized him—his limbs paralyzed, his lungs ached, and his heart hammered. He felt suffocated and dizzy. Finally, he blacked out peacefully.

The Plan: He planned that when his feet hit the bottom, he would make a big jump, come to the surface “like a cork,” lie flat on it, and paddle to the edge of the pool.

The near-death experience left a deep psychological scar. For days, a haunting fear remained in his heart. The slightest exertion upset him, making him wobbly in the knees and sick to his stomach. For years, he avoided water, depriving himself of canoeing, boating, swimming, and fishing.

The fear ruined his fishing trips and deprived him of the joy of canoeing, boating, and swimming. He tried every way he knew to overcome it, but the terror held him firmly. Determined to reclaim the pleasure of these activities, he finally decided to hire an instructor.

The instructor worked systematically:

1. The Mechanism: He put a belt around Douglas. A rope attached to the belt went through a pulley that ran on an overhead cable.
   
   (This setup allowed the instructor to control Douglas’s safety while he practiced in the water.)
2. Breathing: He taught Douglas to put his face underwater and exhale, and to raise his nose and inhale.
3. Kicking: He held Douglas at the side of the pool and had him kick with his legs for weeks until they relaxed.

Finally, he integrated these parts to create a complete swimmer.

Even after the instructor finished, Douglas felt residual vestiges of fear. To ensure he had fully conquered it:

• He swam alone in the pool.
• He went to Lake Wentworth in New Hampshire and swam two miles across the lake.
• He went to Warm Lake and dived off a dock.

Only when he swam across and back without panic did he realize he had truly conquered his fear.

Douglas uses vivid, first-person imagery to make the reader feel his suffocation.

• Sensory Details: He describes the “dirty yellow water,” the throbbing in his head, and the aching in his lungs.
• Physical Paralysis: He describes his legs hanging as “dead weights, paralyzed and rigid.”
• Desperation: Phrases like “I shrieked, but only the water heard me” convey his absolute isolation.

The detailed, moment-by-moment account of his descent and failed attempts to rise makes the terror palpable.

He overcame it through a two-step process:

1. With the Instructor: He practiced five days a week, using a belt-and-pulley system to get comfortable. He learned breathing techniques and kicking separate from swimming strokes. This built his technical ability.
2. Self-Challenge: To eliminate the psychological “residue” of fear, he challenged himself by swimming in vast, natural bodies of water like Lake Wentworth and Warm Lake, facing the terror head-on until it vanished.

Douglas recounts this not just as a scary story, but to highlight the triumph of the human will. The larger meaning he draws is quoted from Roosevelt: “All we have to fear is fear itself.” Having faced both the sensation of dying and the terror that fear of it produces, his will to live grew in intensity. He learned that fear is often worse than the reality, and overcoming it leads to liberation.

(Activity for students)
Direction: Think of a fear like public speaking, darkness, or heights.
Reflection: Often, the anticipation of the event is scarier than the event itself. Once you take the first step (like Douglas getting into the pool), the fear diminishes. Share with your partner how you felt “released” after doing the thing you feared.

Example: Hrithik Roshan
One of India’s most admired actors, Hrithik Roshan, suffered from severe stammering as a child. He was terrified of oral exams and would skip school. He was also diagnosed with scoliosis and told he could never dance.

The Conquest: Through sheer determination, speech therapy, and hours of physical training, he overcame both obstacles. Today, he is an icon of dance and eloquence, proving that persistence can conquer physical and mental limitations.

If narrated in the third person, the story would be an observation rather than an experience. We would read facts: “He nearly drowned,” or “He felt scared.”

Comparison: The first-person narrative (“I felt paralyzed,” “My lungs ached”) creates an immediate emotional connection. It places the reader inside Douglas’s mind. A third-person account would lack this visceral intensity and would feel like a medical report of a drowning incident rather than a psychological journey of survival.

Conquering the Stage

At last, I felt released—free to walk the trails and climb the peaks and to brush aside fear. The journey to this freedom began with a trembling voice and shaking knees. I had always been terrified of public speaking. The mere thought of standing before an audience made my throat go dry.

It started in middle school when I froze during a debate. The silence of the room haunted me for years. I avoided every opportunity to speak up. But deep down, I yearned to express my ideas. The turning point came when I was forced to present a project in Class 11.

I prepared for weeks. I practiced in front of the mirror, then in front of my family. My teacher encouraged me, correcting my posture and tone. On the day of the presentation, my heart hammered against my ribs, reminiscent of Douglas’s terror in the water. But as I spoke the first sentence, the paralysis faded.

I realized the audience wasn’t a monster; they were just listening. By the end, the applause washed over me like a warm wave. I had not just given a speech; I had conquered the ghost of my past failure. Like Douglas, I learned that the fear of the activity was far worse than the activity itself.

Yes, India has several destinations for water sports:

• Rishikesh (Uttarakhand): Famous for White Water Rafting on the Ganges.
• Andaman & Nicobar Islands: Known for Scuba Diving and Snorkeling.
• Goa: Popular for Jet Skiing, Parasailing, and Windsurfing.
• Kerala: Known for Kayaking in the backwaters.